David-NelsonAs such, we've decided to publish this "defense" – in quotes for a reason – of of CoD, which was the only one that could really be posted without intensely heavy editing. …that may be a commentary on the CoD fanbase, but I won't get involved in that now.
Anyway, congrats to David Nelson, aka WorldEndsWithMe.
Call of Duty. The very name conjures up thoughts of epic military struggle, tense sniper crawls, and redecorating your surroundings with your friends' brain paste.
As the latest installment Black Ops II nears, I'd like to take a pause for the cause and thank the video game gods for giving us this gift of mayhem and destruction that has taken over living rooms across the country and the world. The mayhem and destruction we fans love so much is not just fictional, no my friends our favorite yearly game is causing true damage in the real world that furthers the betterment of gaming at large and society in general. Call of Duty is our weapon in the war on nerds, geeks, basement dwellers, otaku-ites and other flotsam and jetsam that must needs be wiped off our reasonably priced recycled map packs.
Listen folks, let's face it, the only thing that matters in this game of gaming is money. This is a business and as such it is the mission of CEO and hairpiece model Bobby Kotick to exploit us out of every dollar we and our parents can scrounge together. Who else can say that their favorite gaming franchise makes the most money by changing as little as possible? What other game can lay claim to so many sales records that when we fans post comments online we can win any argument with internet geeks simply by posting sales numbers as evidence?
And while we're on the subject of squashing long time gamer preferences, it's time we show that we are thankful that Call of Duty has led the way in gaming creativity and innovation that has done away with gameplay in other games that could threaten the top spot. By supporting the nonstop action, pick up and play interface, and twitchy twitter-like response times needed to play Call of Duty we are cutting a real life swath of destruction through such antiquated genres as the JRPG, survival/horror, platforming, and action/adventure.
Evidence around the industry in the form of the constant mention of our beloved CoD exists to prove that the sales behind it have forced the hand of developers that even include the once mighty Square Enix. My beer-soaked friends, we have infiltrated and nearly destroyed Final Fantasy, and you know as well as I that the only way to drive the anime-loving JRPG masses out of their holes and into the light of day where the sun will scorch their pale skin is to destroy their games from within.
Call of Duty doesn't just have control of the market, it has control of the press. You know as well as I do that they need to be told what to be excited about. Nobody is going to pay attention to some wanna-be military shooter as long as there is even a tiny piece of information to reveal to steal their headlines. I don't want to hear about some fancy new engine or amazing audio, if we let facts get in the way of our opinions about Call of Duty there could be chaos. That's why fans should be on standby to flood the boards with man-on-CoD love at every single bit of information and visually manipulated trailer we get.
Remember, every purchase of Call of Duty you make, every dollar you spend on its DLC, every hour you pour into its multiplayer is a blow stuck for us mainstreamers against the smug bastards who have owned this entertainment medium for far too long. So the next time you blast open your best friend's head in a match, picture a stereotypical gamer, because that's who suffers most from our franchise's success, and they need our tough love more than we need diversity in gaming.
I'm really confused.
World wrote an excellent piece of satire. :p
I agree. I have no idea what the result of that was.
Is world FOR or AGAINST the CoD franchise?
Good job World. I liked reading this. I'm pretty shocked about the results of the defense of CoD outcome, though.
This kind of caught me off guard, which is one reason I like this site so much.
Hahahaha, is this even in defense of CoD : It's all the reason why I don't like it, wrapped up in a neat little package and written better than I could.
I'm confused, but slightly aroused.
I feel now more than ever I should have taken the time to write up something, because this is just offensive to CoD fans. No offense to world, I know he plays the games and he wrote a good piece, but this obviously isn't the writings of someone who's defending CoD.
"…that may be a commentary on the CoD fanbase, but I won't get involved in that now." and as for this quote, you pretty much involved yourself just by saying such. I know it's light hearted and maybe I can smile a little at it. But only because I am a huge CoD fan and more so fan of all games that, that remark just makes me laugh at the fact it was even said.
But good job world, you wrote a good piece, and somehow managed to get a piece belittling the franchise, into a request for pieces defending CoD.
Hehe – I felt the same.
I could have *easily* defended COD, I just felt I was not "fan enough", expected someone else to step up to the plate.
I guess this goes to show that if you want to stick up for something then do it, don't wait for others to do it for you. Lesson learnt. 🙂
Hah, yeah. I imagine alot of people read my review and thought "Well…if I had the motivation I could've done better". I knew I'd have a fair chance of getting on the polls, but, if it's any consolation, never did I expect to actually 'win' it. Primarily because I rushed it (and didn't think it out too well), but also because I thought writers like you would've stepped up to the plate. Ah well, no complaints 😛
Who cares if it was said, Bigrailer. It's clearly a good commentary if the well spoken CoD fans can't be bothered to write anything, while the intense CoD fans who do write, don't do so well.
And if anyone is insulted by this… then… get a F***ing life, seriously. lol
I play CoD a few times every week with the bros, and it's a good time. This piece of satire is hilarious. And my CoD-only loving friends thought so too. You have GOT to be able to laugh at yourself once in a while, else everything will insult you. Ya know?
Anyways, my advice is to read what World wrote and enjoy it. It's way more fun than walking around with panties all knotted up in yer arse!
Underdog- my man, for real? You actually think I was upset at what world wrote? Enough to tell me to get a life? Maybe you should re-read what I wrote. Not only did I say he wrote a good piece numerous times, I applauded the fact he was able to get his piece into something that was meant to defend CoD. I even said I was able to smile a little while reading. So don't get to offended but what I said.
When I said it was offensive I was meaning it to be towards the fact that this piece doesn't defend CoD, when it was supposed to. Not the writing itself.
Personally your tone makes you seem a little a upset that someone spoke up like I did. I respect you around here as much as world, but all of a sudden you brought a little hostility into this.
First paragraph was directed to you. Second paragraph was a second paragraph and a separate point. I don't think I addressed anyone in the second paragraph other than the proverbial "anyone". It would only include you if you were actually insulted by what ben or world wrote. If I meant to direct it at you, I think I'm typically ballsy enough to not turn it to the third person approach.
So, long and short, it wasn't directed to you.
If anyone would get offended by someone "speaking up", it wouldn't likely be me. I love controversy, personally, and I wouldn't be offended just because you spoke up. What you spoke up against didn't even have anything to do with me. So why would I get upset?
So yeah. not directed at you. Not even a sly, undertone meant to poke at you. lol. Everything after the first paragraph wasn't intended to be to you. So sorry if it seemed that way.
But my comment does stand that anyone offended by the article or what ben wrote certainly does need to get a life. It's just such a non-issue…
Last edited by Underdog15 on 5/22/2012 11:22:13 AM
Regardless what paragraph you were speaking to me it wasn't clear and in my mind since you mentioned me at all, it felt directed at me. Only in your second reply did you make it clear by repeating several times only the first paragraph was directed at me.
Secondly whatever your personal feelings are is fine with me. And if your "ballsy" enough to call someone out on the Internet… Awesome! 😉
Anyways I don't really see an issue, youve got some deeper issues that are outside what my comment pertained to.
Liam-
Actually, I hope you didn't get the feeling I meant anything like that towards your review. I really enjoyed your review, and I don't think I said it in the comments there, but good job!
I'm no different on the internet than in person. I'd call you out for that in real life too, if you came in all offended about something someone wrote on the internet. If you could hear the tone of voice I speak with and see my expressions, you'd be able to tell it's more of a smirking commentary on what I'm hearing. It's certainly not some venting escapade.
Seriously, those people need to get a life, and they know it. It's not a big deal and frankly, I'm surprised you even cared enough about what I wrote to continue to comment. But whatev's.
As for this comment, "Anyways I don't really see an issue, youve got some deeper issues that are outside what my comment pertained to. "
I'm not really sure what you're getting at. As you heard me "repeated times", I consider it a non-issue and wasn't directing it in any direction. People got just as confused with Zen's winning article last week. lol. And I clearly apologized for it seeming like it was pointed at you or at least for making it seem like it was.
It's simple, bigrailer19. It wasn't outside what your comments pertained to. You alluded to the fact that CoD fans could be insulted. I responded by saying if they are, they need to get the heck over it because it's such a non-issued no-big-deal kind of thing. There's really nothing deep about that at all, and I have no long-standing deep-rooted issues with it, either.
People just get offended by big-boy talk, I guess.
As for your allusion to my "ballsy" comment, I wasn't acting like I'm some ballsy person. I was sarcastically alluding to the fact that I'm not the kind of person to hide behind 3rd person comments when addressing someone. If I have an issue with you, I'll direct it to you. The "ballsy" thing isn't some claim to being able to be "blunt" for the sake of bluntness. I was saying you'll know if I'm talking to you… that's all. In otherwords, I don't take the cowardly 3rd person approach.
Last edited by Underdog15 on 5/22/2012 3:27:47 PM
[Hehe, likewise; congrats WorldEndsWithMe (I refuse to call you David). It was enjoyable if not entirely fitting to the competition, but w.e xD]
Guess it's just the pedantic side of me talking, but I still bet the majority wasn't impresed that I won, because the review wasn't, well, impressing. I'm just wondering now that, if I were to do a review for this week, people won't vote for me purely for the fact I've already 'won'…which I guess is fair. Ehh. I'll probably do it anyway cuz it's fun 😛
" I'm surprised you even cared enough about what I wrote to continue to comment." I guess that could go both ways. But it's more because I like to conversate. I just care to conversate, I'm not for any reason upset about what you wrote. I'm simply replying to what you wrote.
I still sense some hostility from you. You seem perturbed that someone could, be speaking out against this. I did say it was insulting but not what anyone said. I again, was referring to the fact that an article belittling CoD was published as defending it, with defending to be taken lightly. I'm a fan of the franchise and didn't see it being fit. Was it a good read? Absolutely. Was I offended by what Ben or World wrote? Absolutely not. Like you said there is no reason too. We agree on that, so I'm not sure why it got brought up.
But even then it is insulting to assume, CoD fans can't write well enough that it pertains to all CoD fans. Im a CoD fan, and feel I can write good enough. But I don't care to defend the game, or take the time to write about defending it. I've done enough of that in my life. But what was published does make me in some ways wish I would have written something, so it didn't have to be like this. As enjoyable to read as it was.
What I meant by outside my comment, was that if your first paragraph of your first reply was the only thing aimed at me, then the rest of what you said, and the rest of your comments in this thread are not concerning me. That's all I meant by that. Nothing personal or anything like that.
Oh and your "ballsy" comment… I know what you meant. Lol. I dont take you as some Internet tough guy. I just wanted to raz you a little about it because it could have been taken that way. Also there are so many of those types of people out there it makes the Internet is a crazy place. Trust me I've read enough of your comments, and again respect you round here enough, to know most of your demeanor.
Last edited by bigrailer19 on 5/22/2012 4:13:55 PM
LOL, good read. I wish you would contribute more to the site World.
'preciate the support 🙂
I was a little worried there might be some raging (and there could be as people wake up to this) but hopefully people see that this is satire. I'm using a stereotype to criticize a stereotype while making a few points in an entertaining way.
I was really aiming at a humorous runner-up position kind of like the "How CoD ruined my life" guest editorial but it seems there weren't any real defenders fit for publishing.
That said, I'll just reiterate while I have issues with the phenomenon I don't hate CoD and I've happily played them all with friends except MW3.
Thanks to Ben and the community. I'm only a little sorry the whole competition came out totally on the negative side but I don't think anyone should fault this site for that. This was pretty fun to write.
I HATE COD (after 4) and enjoyed your obvious use of satire.
Last edited by LimitedVertigo on 5/21/2012 11:28:53 PM
Well written indeed, World.
I had a good time reading that piece World. Nice job!
Thanks guys, this type of commentary is better when spoken with a tone of voice so ya never know just how a written satire is going to go over.
MW3 has been the best one since the original MW. Why wouldn't you play it?
I don't buy them myself, only play them when they pop up at social functions.
They got so much money, take a break more than 2 years and come back with a better COD project devs.
Real classy World… A good read, but not sure one could call it a defense. At least you managed to get your thoughts out 😉
wish i got me an edumucation so i could write gud – but back when i were a yung un we got sent to work at 13.
this why me plays COD – not got smarts to play the games u others play after your MENSA meetings
Keep on truckin'
Yeah, I thought you might have done a submission.
By the way, my grandfather actually had to leave school in grade 8 (when he was 13) to help on the farm because his dad got sick. He never got a higher education than that…
And he's still an excellent writer because he's smart. You don't need education to be a good writer… and you shouldn't need one to write a comprehensive critique on CoD… but… alas and alack…
Well it only helps to have an education. I mean I don't think I'm the smartest person, but smart enough anyways. Even so I'm still learning writing techniques today at age 26, that I never picked up on through school.
Writing no matter what it is, is very important and almost difficult to comprehend unless it is written well. You don't get to see facial expressions which is a large part of our communicating, so for a writer to get that across would definitely take a skill. That skill should be applied to even A "comprehensive critique" of something.
That's why it was easy to pick up on worlds article. He wrote it well.
Last edited by bigrailer19 on 5/22/2012 3:17:34 PM
Hey, there's nothing wrong in being a Mensa member.
Kind regards, Mensa Norway member #782. 😉
"…that may be a commentary on the CoD fanbase, but I won't get involved in that now."
I love that prologue.
Nice ironic (heavy) touch on the article. Sadly, I don't expect anyone to learn something new today from this, that can benefit the industry tomorrow.
Nice one World! Great article.
I'm happy a defend CoD article was really a hate article. I'm surprised though that not even one of the articles for CoD love was publishable. I mean, it speaks worlds in and of it itself, but hey, I was genuinely interested in what was to be said!
Yeah… that's actually really funny… And it might actually be a bit of a glimpse on the CoD fanbase. I mean the intense people who would defend it to the nines. Lots of people here "like" it alright, but how many would take time to defend it?
I also wanted to hear some good points from the other side because there has to be some.
LOL, nicely written, World. I do love the satire and sarcasm. This line was golden:
"My beer-soaked friends, we have infiltrated and nearly destroyed Final Fantasy, and you know as well as I that the only way to drive the anime-loving JRPG masses out of their holes and into the light of day where the sun will scorch their pale skin is to destroy their games from within."
I can't believe that no one wrote a good piece that was worth publishing. Even allowing Ben to take some cheapshots at the CoD fanbase. Someone could've taken the whole "online gaming is now the norm" argument for why CoD has helped the industry (whether or not you agree with that argument would be the point of the piece)….but my writing skills are not up to snuff either.
Hm. While I enjoyed the article personally, I think it's pretty insulting to real Call of Duty fans (of which I'm not one) to post this as the "In Defense of CoD" piece. Sure it's easy to get away with here as is obvious by the first wave of responses, but I know plenty of people who enjoy Call of Duty in addition to a variety of other games who would not appreciate being pidgeonholed into the "ignorant mass that ruined video games for the rest of us".
That's not to say there isn't a grain of truth to the words above, but if there really wasn't a real article worthy of defending the game to this audience then I think my opinion of this community has dropped a bit. Honestly this belonged in the CoD Hate articles.
I enjoy some CoD with friends. I do not find this article insulting. I find it funny, because there's a lot of truth in it. And I freely admit it and hate myself a little more every day for it. ;P
lol
I explained why this was posted. Apparently, nobody in the CoD community can form a complete sentence.
LOL Hairpiece model….
There's something about the way his hair dosnt' seem to come out of his head on top that makes me suspicious, lol
I love how some people are like, "aw yeah, World, nice job, man, aw, just awesome!" Then they criticize Ben for his prologue. lol… If you're that upset, you should have just written a good defense… Otherwise, you're clearly not a big enough fan to be getting upset about it.
Although… I with people criticizing Ben… I almost wish he had just published the best "real" defense so we could see the best of the worst pieces of writing… The comments would have bashed it far worse than any snippity prologue ben might add… Could probably argue Ben did the authors of the defenses a favor…
Oh, TRUST me. I most certainly did the CoD fanbase a favor by not posting any one of the submissions.
There's also a lot of people saying they're confused by the article because they don't see how it's a defense…. I think you just need to accept the fact that you'll never win no matter how clear things are…
Last edited by Underdog15 on 5/22/2012 9:05:34 AM
I'm well aware. 😉
And if people can't figure out that this is satire, I would strongly suggest they pick up a book. It's quite obvious…at least to the literate crowd.
I saw that same thing pretty clearly last week. Call of Duty did ruin my life after all 😉
lol yeah… not sure how people didn't realize that was a joke, as well. haha. You did well too, Zen.
Well I did think that World's piece was very well written and very funny. I thought it was better than the CoD "hate" ones even (I still liked yours, Zen)- and def should have been published regardless of what contest it was for.
I just think that you do a disservice to some of your readers (and possibly alienate them), Ben, when you drop in comments and generalizations like "apparently nobody in the CoD community can form a sentence". I didn't care enough nor am I skilled enough to write a piece defending CoD, but I do enjoy playing it….as I do other games. There just seems to be a lot CoD hate on this site. I'm not insulted, but if I took the time to write a piece and send it in I probably would be with some of your comments.
Last edited by jimmyhandsome on 5/22/2012 11:32:40 AM