Barbed wire is your friend. So says The Onion.

The Evil Within publisher Bethesda and fake news source the Onion have teamed up to deliver a funny (and obviously fake) story that parodies the use of barbed wire in the upcoming horror title from Resident Evil creator Shinji Mikami.

There are some real gems in here. Check out what Barned Wire Lobby boss Annette Coleman had to say:

"Barbed wire is a positive force for good. It protects our junkyards from scrap metal thieves and helps keep our cattle ranches safe from wrestlers.

But Bethesda thinks it's OK to ignore all the benefits of barbed wire and make it look like some scary thing used by murderers. If Bethesda wants to make this right, they should have the main character go behind a fence and then be safe from monsters because they can't climb over the barbed wire to get him. Now that's a game I would play."

See now, I always thought barbed wire was dangerous and bad…but clearly, I've been misinformed. Barbed wire has been persecuted for far too long now, and it's time someone stepped up and did something. I'm proud of these demonstrators; I really am. They're putting it all out there, and-

Anyway, The Evil Within is set to launch on August 26 for the PlayStation 4, Xbox One, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360 and PC.

Related Game(s): The Evil Within

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Lawless SXE
Lawless SXE
7 years ago

Cutesy… but I think they meant wranglers, not wrestlers.

Kryten1029a
Kryten1029a
7 years ago

They meant rustlers.

Lawless SXE
Lawless SXE
7 years ago

Like the Brown Paper Bag Kid?

Kryten1029a
Kryten1029a
7 years ago

No, as in cattle thieves in general. I do kind of like the notion of protection from wrestlers, though.

Lawless SXE
Lawless SXE
7 years ago

Aww… you didn't get the joke.

BikerSaint
BikerSaint
7 years ago

Me thinks Ben was preoccupied with delicious thoughts of female Jello wrestlers.

So where's the whipped cream??????

wackazoa
wackazoa
7 years ago

Wait wait wait……. SOLAR POWERED YOGURT?????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This was a funny clip. Good on you Bethesda.