Ben-DutkaMaybe it's because I spent the vast majority of my college days playing RPGs (22 in 4 years, baby). Maybe it's because my work and lifestyle hasn't really had room for long-term relationships (that, and my brain has difficulty finding room for them). Or maybe it's just because this situation really is as weird as it sounds. All I know is, I remember hanging up the phone with Ms. Courtney, sitting back in my chair, staring out the window, saying: "…well, this is new.
I don't pretend to be an expert on much of anything besides video games. I really don't. I've got some sports knowledge, I love to read so I've read many of the literary classics, I play a little tennis, I'm a pretty good speaker, and I suppose I have a basic, working knowledge of the opposite sex. But this is well beyond me. If you're coming late to the party, you're going to have to check the last few installments in this mini-saga of mine; this isn't like a "To Be Continued…" TV show where I can remind everyone of last week's production with a quick set of snippets. So go ahead and catch up, but if you're already caught up, read on. Now, as far as I can tell, the world may be playing some sort of colossal, cosmic trick on me, although it seems highly unlikely. What exactly did I do to invite the wrath of the heavens? Is it because I don't believe in astrology? Or just 'cuz the very concept of space baffles me no end? There must be a reason.
So: Ms. Courtney did indeed know about Ms. Amy calling me, but played it off like she didn't…at first. Then she told me she did. I ask why. She says it's because they both find me interesting. I say something like, "…what?" Ms. Courtney says she doesn't really want to talk about it, and yet, we should definitely go out tomorrow night and talk about it then. I ask if Ms. Amy is going to pose a problem and if the two "friends" aren't so friendly. She says she doesn't want to talk about it. Ms. Amy, on the other hand, is quite willing to talk about it. Apparently, it was her idea. The two had talked about it and they figured maybe the only fair way to resolve the issue was for each of them to spend a little time with me, just to see who "fit" better. Originally, I was never supposed to know…although how they expected me to date them both without ever asking any questions whatsoever is, as I said, beyond me. They said neither would hold a grudge provided both kept things casual.
At this point, am I allowed to say, "WTF is going on?" Or would that be the words of the uninitiated? Does this happen often in the dating world? I wouldn't know; it's why I'm asking. The only good news is that, apparently, this entire thing is up to me; whomever I feel more comfortable with; whichever of the two women "fit" me better, I can just choose her and the other will back off. Their agreement is that when this happens, there will be no bad feelings anywhere. But really…how long can I keep spending time with both before one of them starts to get pissed? Seriously? They say there's no time limit and that is the biggest lie I've ever heard. It may, however, be a white lie, simply stated so I wouldn't feel any pressure. It didn't work. I suppose I can deal with this but I have a baaaaad feeling. It's like wandering through a bunch of very bland hallways – no way to find your direction; nothing on the walls, etc. – and there are invisible trip wires around every turn. It's a little nerve-wracking. Or maybe I should just relax and do whatever…sex, I have learned, is part of the trial equation.
Yeah. Like that won't cause any problems. 'rolling eyes' Okay, I'm done. Oh, I chose that pic because it kinda looks a little like Ms. Amy.
Nothing good will come of this. Good luck Ben.
Thats the spirit!
LOL he should see if they'll go for a threesome! jk…
Wow. I'm glad such a conundrum hasn't yet fallen upon me. They say that there won't be any bad feelings but… it doesn't really work that way too often with women. And they left you without a right answer to your situation. Therefore, I would choose the "just relax" option and see how things unfold.
If that's miss amy and you can't choose between the two theni would love to see a miss courtny 😉 wow ben for a nerd you got some hot chicks falling for you
Nerd? This guy owns a badass car, has muscles, and goes out…
Games /= nerd
I'm all jokes man. Ben is the coolest
uhmm two women liking one guy and being rational about it… I sense a bad omen looming in…
Definitely. If these two are friends, and you end up with one, you'll still see the other one when they hang out. That'll be awkward. And lets assume you choose Ms. Amy. Don't you think Ms. Courtney will be A.) A little resentful towards you because you two starting talking before Ms. Amy, and B.) A little jealous of Ms. Amy for getting with a guy that Ms. Courtney was talking to first? And if you reject Ms. Amy before anything happens and take your chances with Ms. Courtney, she'll be all "What, my friends aren't good enough for you?" Then lets just assume for a second that you do try the whole dating two pseudo-friends at the same time scenario. Do you take both out at the same time? If not, which one do you go out with? And you say sex is in the equation. Which one do you have sex with first? Because women talk, Ben. And whichever one you have sex with first, you better race on over to the other one's place and get the deed done before she finds out that she's runner up to the prize.
As much as I see what you're saying, do you realize you're complaining about having more than one woman pursue you?
That's a few steps down of whining about not knowing what car to buy after winning a lottery.
It does seem a bit odd though. I don't think 2 male friends would ever do this sort of thing, not when 1 had already been dating her for a while anyway.
B Dukat, you are the Bachelor. Sweet! If you were on the full blown show, I would say have fun with the skanks and then settle down with a good girl. In this case, while you've fast forwarded past the good part, you are in a no lose situation. I heard that the Year of the Pimp and Player has passed B Dukat. Pick the one you vibe with best and don't look back. Good luck!
Ummmmmmm what the heck is this? lol….
I don't know what to tell you Ben
On one hand I'd say "man you're a lucky dude." I'd love for two babes to be that into me to say "you can choose." haha that't awesome
The bad part is that they're friends and one will ultimately feel bad/sad.
Well if anything have fun *grins*
Oh, I know there's no way out of this without something bad happening.
I could just turn a blind eye to the inevitable and have a little fun in the meantime. …but it'll be like having your fun with an anvil hanging over your head.
Ben, there may be a way out, although it may not be the most fun route. You could bring one of your friends into the equation. Was anyone interested in Ms. Amy? Just think of the insane Love-Square you'd have going on. It would rival Jack-Kate-Sawyer-Juliet.
Last edited by GuernicaReborn on 5/8/2009 11:57:49 PM
I don't have any friends who aren't engaged, married, or involved right now. …shows you my age. 😉
Hmmm, You had best beware…..
I'm afraid it now sounds like there's gonna be a bloodletting in someone's future, Ben!
(and that ceremonial sacrificial lamb being led to slaughter isn't going be Courtney or Amy either)
All I can say is that I wish I had two attractive women chasing after me. If that ever happens, (not likely), then I guess I would start thinking of what bad things could come.
Anyway, we hope the best for you Ben.
Okay this is a rare time I have to bust in without finishishing the other posts.
You are FARCKED, old man. You're done, broke, busted go to bed, take a pillow and a long sleep. As horrible and shortly as i've been involved in female relations, i know a bit. I was the last and only guy to tell you this was no "test". You can't come out of this alive. If you wanna be a pigman you can pick one for physical relations periodically, but you are gonna fall from any kind of grace if you try to have both or be "King" of this kind of sh*t.
Sadly, this could be very, very true. 🙁
I was in a somewhat similar situation in the past. Here's the short version. Met a group of girls while I was hanging out with my friends. End of the night, Girl A asked for my number and I gladly gave it to her. Not realizing it until later on, Girl B was eying the number and myself even though we talked the least. I get a call a couple days later and Girl B introduces herself, tells me that Girl A was just asking for the number because Girl B was being shy. (Red Alert should have sounded there) I went with it, dated Girl B. Ran into Girl A while with Girl B and the claws came out. Got the truth later on and Girl B ended up being quite the psycho and very, very territorial. It was fun (the physical part of it) but the head games and drama were pretty lame and immature.
Whatever you decide, Ben… it can only end in you being physically satisfied and the girls not making much sense through any of this. Think about it. If you're already analyzing all of this, and thinking of which would be the proper "steps" to take, it is way too much work for what the end result will be. As a wise old fisherman, at the end of an uneventful day, once said, "There are plenty more fish in the sea."
Last edited by fluffernutter on 5/9/2009 12:12:56 AM
That's part of my issue: whatever I do, I want the final result to be worth my effort. So maybe I shouldn't over-think any of this, as I don't want the amount of work to override any potential fun I may have.
It is a simple equation: Go out with one for a week and then switch and go out with the other one for a week. Find out who is more sexually compatable with you and has the same interests. If one of them is more jealous that should just make it more easy. If they both want to have sex with you, do it and let both them know that your sleeping with both of them. In the end it is all going to end bad just enjoy the good part of the ride until it ends. HELL MAYBE YOU WILL GET BOTH OF THEM TOGETHER!
HELLZ YA
Geez…let's not put THAT thought in my head. This is complicated enough.
Maybe you could pick the one you like, then make the other one not like you. But since they are friends that could be complicated. Sh it I don't know,
dude just nail them both and say neither one "fits". thats the only way you are gonna come out with anything good. hell maybe you can get some kind of three way going on to see who is better! lol!
haha ya! Like a competition….. I just looked up competition on dictionary dot com and in it's example it said " both girls entered the competition. xD
Uh….RUN! But run after you do your business with both. Might as well get something out this mess.
And I would love to beat you down in tennis someday. lol
Stuck in a bizarre situation? Find a bizarre solution, Ben.
Go for either both, or neither. All or nothing.
Really, do they expect you to walk out unscathed from this, those inconsiderate women?! (not saying all women are inconsiderate, just those 2)
So, here what you can do. You can go for the "all" option, that is, be as inconsiderate as them, and if they get surprised, tell them "what did you expect? you brought this upon yourselves". Although, you don't seem to be that kind of person, Ben.
OR
You can opt for the "nothing" option, which I advise, and say "Sorry, I can't do this. You think I'm gonna choose one of you? When BOTH of you agreed to put me through this? No thanks, I'm looking for considerate, nice women." (rephrase as required)
BTW, this is just my opinion, if you choose to follow it, you take full responsibility, alright? You're free to do whatever you want, m8, so good luck with whatever choice you make.
Eh, it's hard to say if what they're doing is "inconsiderate." I keep asking myself, "what would I do if I was in their position?" Isn't it best to talk it out with the friend in question and approach things logically? Sure, it puts me in a tough position, but I'd be in one anyway, simply because two women are interested…
I dunno. I may just be rambling. LOL
This is turning into a Anime! I'll pray you get the good ending… Although crazy laughing and lots of blood is cool too. 🙂
Change your name, assume a new identity, and try again XD if they notice similarities play it off, lol. Maybe the second time will work out better.
I'm gonna have to agree with everyone else and say that you're FOWNKED!!! I would say, forget about both of them, name your left hand Ms. Courtney and your right Ms. Amy, or whichever way you prefer and call it a day…….
Solve it on Jerry Springer.
I don't know….I'm 26, and I've had my fair share of girls. Both serious, one night stands, and everything in between (I don't even know my number, but it's above 30). I just think that they will work it out. They talk, they know what's going on. One will be "more" interested, and the other will be OK with it.
Quite a predicament there Ben, i'm no expert, but i reckon you should wait for them to come back to you. They might sort this out themselves, if not.. well, choose whoever seems most like you / the nicer perosn.
This is funny i suppose as i just went through the same predicament Ben.
Thankfully it wasn't that hard to resolve as one of the girls was obviously only in it for one thing (won't say it as there may be young ones reading)
The other however really cared about me. Safe to say we've just started to take things seriously and so far things are going well 🙂
Don't worry Ben, just follow your instincts and keep a level head. You'll be just fine.
Thanks for the vote of confidence. 🙂
Just have sex with both of them,eat up their food and see what happens next.if they both get mad,then oh well.If they both are into the triangle,then great and maybe you can set up a threesome.
I have one thing to say…….what would Jesus do?
two chicks?
Ben its not as complicated as you think, as long as you remember dont be greedy. The situation is a dream come true but will swiftly turn into a nightmare if you get greedy. They both act like its ok now but after time of "test driving" both they will start to get attatched to you emotionally THEY ARE WOMEN they think and do everything on emotions not on rational thought. Sorry to any ladies here whom I maybe offending by that statment, but its true.
Or lol maybe you found the two out there that arent emotionally insane that you can do this with and everything will just workout for the best in the end with rainbows and kittens.
You are already in too deep just remember dont get greedy.
Oh, I'm not greedy. I just don't like balancing on the edge of the abyss… And yeah, I'd say women, on an emotional level, or most definitely different than men.
Dump both of them, they sound like trouble. Drama is a bitch.
Ms. Courtney + Ms. Amy = Ms. Chievous
Last edited by psxmax on 5/9/2009 8:04:20 AM
I say have your cake and eat it! What will really happen if one/both of them get pissed off? You are back at square one, so nothing lost! And to be honest, most women I know would have ripped their friend to shreds if they knew they both liked me, haha!
EXACTLY! Worst case scenario: You lose them both. OH NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Drop back 10 yards and punt. I'm not the most experienced man in the world when it comes to dating, and while they're telling you there will be no consequences for you from the situation, you're right to be seriously concerned about it… Feelings will be hurt, friendships will be tested, and a relationship with either will always be complicated…
Surely there's another path (woman) to the goal (a good relationship); just because you have two choices right now doesn't mean you have to take either.
Dude, with all due respect and in pure honesty, you're screwed. One of them WILL hold a grudge, it's how women work, and you're right, there IS a time limit, I'd give it maybe a month at the most, perhaps a little longer if you dont see one of them at least once a week. So either make your choice and then deal with the other being a b**** to the either for the remainder of the relationship, or just choose neither because the situation is too stressful. Good luck bud.
Last edited by Riku994 on 5/9/2009 9:18:12 AM
This don't really happen in the dating world.
Ben,you're in a dilemma,i sense that you like'em both.
At first you sounded like Ms. Courtney was ya choice now look at you putting up a Ms. Amy look-alike pic,i know this situation,you like'em both but you don't wanna hurt any one of'em but still you know you'd have to go with one.
Ben,i sense you eyeing Ms.Amy, at the same time you feel Ms. Courtney came first so it just wouldn't be fair.
Anyway i leave you in ya dilemma.
See? I KNEW this kind of thing didn't happen in the dating world. And there are definitely a bunch of factors to consider…