Totally A Real PersonIn a surprising turn of events, Sony has issued a public statement addressing reports of microscopic spider contamination in its newest DualSense model, the EX-8200, which has recently hit shelves worldwide. According to initial findings, the outbreak of arachnid infestation originated at a production facility in China, where the EX-8200 controllers are assembled.
Sony’s spokesperson explained that the spiders were first discovered in the factory during routine inspections. Dubbed Parvus Aranea, these invasive micro-arachnids are known for their ability to thrive in confined spaces, making them a particularly challenging pest to eliminate. Unfortunately, before the infestation was contained, the spiders had already spread to certain shipments of the EX-8200, embedding themselves within the controller’s internal grip-enhancing chambers.
This unforeseen issue has resulted in peculiar side effects reported by users, including occasional sensations of crawling on the palms during gameplay, subtle vibration anomalies, and faint skittering noises emanating from the controller. While Sony maintains that the spiders are harmless to humans and unlikely to leave the confines of the controller, they have issued guidelines for handling affected units:
- Keep the controller in a sealed, cool environment when not in use.
- Avoid using the controller in humid conditions, which may encourage spider activity.
- Do not open the controller casing, as this may disturb the arachnids further.
Sony has also announced plans for a recall of certain batches of the DualSense EX-8200, urging consumers to check their serial numbers against an online database to determine if their controller may be affected.
Despite the incident, Sony remains optimistic. The company has stated that it is investigating whether the Parvus Aranea spiders can be utilized for enhanced tactile feedback in future models, turning this mishap into a unique innovation. “We are exploring how biological organisms can interact with technology in meaningful ways,” the spokesperson commented, “but for now, we apologize for this unintended feature.”
Sony assures customers that steps are being taken to ensure future shipments of the EX-8200 are arachnid-free. For now, arachnophobic gamers might want to think twice before picking up a new controller—or perhaps wear gloves during their next gaming session.
Another not funny April fools article
It’s playing homage to an article we did back in 2008 or so.
To be fair, it wasn’t super funny back then, either. I believe Eurogamer or someone compiled a list of the worst April Fools jokes and we were top of it.
Good times.
go touch grass man, its all in humor for ONE day of the year. what a party pooper you are
Except there wasn’t really a point of the joke? April fools joke are typically silly good fun.. ie, basically every one on Google.. this? Just gross and mean. Also? They all tell you in the article it was a joke. This is actually believable and gross.
Best one this year was saying George Lucas was reshooting a new hope in one shot after the hit episode of the studio by Seth Rogen.
This is only believable if you are an idiot.
I’m idiot. That’s me lol
“This is only believable if you’re an idiot”
– Sincerely, an idiot
Some people are just, gross and mean. I enjoyed the joke!
What part of any of this is “gross and mean?” What?….
Haha you can tell who fell for it 😂😂
sad even jokes on april fools day triggers people. wth have we (some) become where we cry over a harmless joke. it’s like the old saying from the 12 century buddist monk that says “if they wasn’t talking to you, then mind your business” lol
Isn’t April fools only on the 1st so why were they doing this comment on the 3rd and this article on the 2nd???
The article was published on April 1st. Not sure why Google or other apps and services decided to promote an April Fools article after April 1st, but oh well. Wasn’t our doing.
What you could do however, is delete the article, or if you must, archive it somewhere private. As someone who does have this phobia, and only read the article today, I didn’t find it funny at all.
You think people are going to check the date of every article they read, every time, for every site? No. April 1st is over. Chuck it in the bin.
We’re touching your mother instead.
what kind of grass?
Always gotta be a hatter it’s fckin April fools go suck some
You are stupid 🙄
In the image of the dual sense controller(EX-8200)under siege by microscopic arachnids; unless these arachnids that are mutated and are secret experiments engineered by the Chinese government used for potential global domination aimed at the United States, I’ve never seen nor heard of arachnids having more than 8 legs like the one pictured. What kind of April Fools joke do you think you’re pulling? You have to take into consideration that a child who isn’t old enough to understand April Fools jokes and the concept of it and the child gets wind of this news, he/she’s going to believe it. Don’t ever joke about things that involve real life events people or things. Also, go to hell, mother fucker!!!!
Sounds like you immediately went to see if your controller was infested. Is that why your so mad? Huh? Huh? Huh? Did they get you?
“You’re”
I find it unfunny and quite slanderous. For those of you who dont know about the american populace, they are largely sheep who just follow what the person before them said/did. So an article like this may actually damage sales and legal action may be taken if damages are accrued. Just another, more adult outlook on this article.
But you aren’t an adult. It’s the internet, we teach kids (AND adults) that not everything (most everything) on the internet, social media, news, etc isn’t true. Especially since it’s April fools. If you cant understand satire and therefore think neither can kids, let me remind you of how dumb adults are. Remember to not drop heavy objects on your foot in a tiktok challenge, or George Washington starting the 7 year war because he was conceded. There’s adults who don’t know that New Mexico is in The United States and isn’t actually in Mexico. It’s april fools, these jokes are never that serious or deep although would have been the perfect time for a actual Spiderman reference this time. Cry about your sad life and go away
You wanna sound smart, huh? Correct your grammar, and be a big winner.
There’s an AI , Actual Intelligence, assit for people like you, too.
Literally no.
we know your not a lawyer. this site lets you make up any ole name ya want to like idk “lawyerjohnny”….clown lighten up, no lawsuits will be put on you lawyer man
That was a good guess but the anger came after checking the controller and finding the tiny bugs, reading the article more closely and realizing that it’s a joke but his controller was in fact infested with crabs.. Even worse, no sex has taken place to explain their presence.
Douche bag
“Don’t ever joke about real life events, people, or things”
Your whole post is a joke..
Karen.
Wow so much hate.
It was April Fools so many sites do this every year it’s not a big deal man.
The world needs more laughter and less hate.
You’ve got some serious daddy issues, huh? Shh shh, hush, It’s ok, your new daddy’s here now baby boy, those mean and scary controller spiders can’t hurt you now….
grow up little girl it was a harmless april fools joke. why bring the “ohhh what if kids…” into it to justify your bitterness. and that point about the kids you made only reflects on their parents for not explaining or teaching them that jokes are not real……….mother fucker
I don’t know why you’re calling out the image in particular. It’s all AI-generated slop nowadays, even if it’s from a reliable source.
Could this be integrated into Mikes Morales for some next level haptic feedback ??🕸
Some of y’all need some Prozac
LOL, this explains the tiny voices from my controller…LOL maybe they are space spiders come to take over the gaming industry LOL
They couldn’t do a worse job than EA…🤔🤷♂️
Everyone who commented on this is literally retarded LMAO
So you’re retarded?
Welcome to the club then, retard
Why do trolls think deliberately getting hated on is a good thing? Might as well be a criminal.
Is this like some late April fools joke? Faint skittering sounds from a microscopic spider? Lol
I read this just after waking up, entirely forgetting April fools was a thing, and was deeply concerned that I couldn’t find any other information on a DualSense EX-8200. Well played
You had me until I got to the users reporting a crawling sensation in their hands, and faint skittering sounds coming from the controller
What are the chances for gamers with Morgellons to happen upon this one?
Lol, that’s the best one I’ve come across in awhile! My favorite April’s fools joke article was in a scientific magazine (new scientist? I forgot) but it was about these carnivorous worms discovered in Antarctica called ice borers that have been observed tunneling through the ice and decimating whole colonies of penguins- I spent a whole year believing it was real until someone who’d read the piece enlightened me to the reality of it (I was a kid then- im 49 now and not so easily fooled) i almost fell for this- for a brief second. Good one, guys!
This article is so stupid. Everyone knows you can sanitize PS controllers by microwaving then for 10 minutes, spider problem solved!
Do I need to wrap my controller in a paper towel first, or will a microwave safe plate be enough?
I’ve found using both is fine, just to be on the safe side
I know right?! Like who DOESN’T know about that little life hack by now? Total idiots, that’s who!
Kerosene for those dry-clean only controllers.
Clever I fell for it at first but then reminded myself what 2 days ago was lol
Being horribly arachnophobic I was deeply relieved that it was a joke.
Great job though all the same.👏👍
I know Sony is trying to promote their Spider-Man games, but do they have to be soo literal about it? 🤣
Great joke had me fooled til I read comments
🤣😂🤣 we need more humor in life instead of all this hate❤️
LOL
Haha 😂 April fools
Just throw it in the freezer for a while problem solved
Obviously, they’re there to enhance your sense of immersion while playing Spider-Man.
Even better that this made my home news feed! Props
I’m disappointed there wasn’t at least one line saying the spiders could have been “NANOMACHINES, SON.”
I laughed
Do you have any recipes that we could use the spiders for? Perhaps spider soup or spider dessert type?
Had a screen record in capcut. Seen the “totally a real person ….April 1” 🤣🤣🤣
Might as well post it anyway… my defense it’s currently the 3rd
Oh… Wow you got me. The last bit about unintended feature was a nice touch. Definitely a bug.
While this was a joke here’s a true fact that most humans don’t know we have micro arachnids living in our hair follicles and faces now watch people are gonna be very grossed out and upset by that but it’s a true fact they are called demodex mites don’t believe me do your own research
As I had just recently got a new controller I was actually hoping it was true, I could use a little help LOL