So there's this study that "proved" the majority of men prefer playing video games over having sex. I put "proved" in quotations because they used adrenaline as the determining factor (and I'm fairly certain there's a lot more involved with both activities, especially sex), and also because there were only 100 participants.
Believe what you will, but I believe it raises an important question: as gaming becomes more mainstream and as more and more individuals are becoming involved with the hobby, other forms of entertainment can – and often do – take a back seat to the interactive video goodness. Furthermore, given the vast increases in realism and authenticity, we've never felt more immersed or absorbed; the experiences are becoming more intense with every passing year. Now, let's tack on a few more elements as they relate to our current society: I think it's obvious that we are, as a country, in a critical state of health and there have never been more people who aren't physically capable of sex. Then there's the increased sedentary lifestyle, which far too many embrace, and such people tend to gravitate towards gaming…perhaps even more than sex. Lastly, I'm of the firm belief that an enhanced emphasis on the pseudo-communication via electronics has caused the entire society to become developmentally and emotionally stunted. Traits like charm and charisma seem to have all but died.
You may not agree with me on this last point (and many will not), but the bottom line is that we may be less acquainted with intimacy and closeness than ever before, which, in and of itself, has a direct impact on a sex life. And if we conclude that gaming is a hobby that tends to promote more sitting and less activity, along with its spiking popularity and the declining health of the populace, perhaps gaming does indeed affect sex and relationships, either directly or indirectly. Now, this may be using more of that nigh-on useless psychology degree of mine (and less of any gaming knowledge I may have), but perhaps it's worth talking about. As a topic of conversation, it's bound to be…interesting.
Oh you know I do it in the woods, as well as on the farm, and in the sack. It's a sweet life.
I think that the fact that my ex-fiance wanted to sleep with other dudes had a detrimental affect on my sex life. Four years out of the dating game and trying to get back into it while juggling a full time job and working on Med School has a way of making you re-realise your virginity.
ouch man, just ouch.
…why do I keep thinking that abstaining from sex somehow encourages the brain to work better? It CAN'T be true, and yet…
Well Ben, there was that one Seinfeld episode where George got really smart…
LOL I was thinking about mentioning that episode in the post!
I think abstaining makes me personally more distracted and therefore less intelligent by default. Maybe not less intelligent but I sure can't concentrate with all the beautiful women in my classes.
That's just cuz of the sex drive, abstinence has nothing to do with it, well not nothing…but man I've had huuuuuge dry seasons, it may take a bit to get used to but, once you do it, you can use the time you used chasing girls and intercourse on something else like reading books learning karate or playing guitar,…which, will get you to meet a girl and…you see where I'm going, it's a vicious loop :S
Its the other way around, sex infringes on my gaming time. I have to come to bed at a decent hour if i want some of that sweet sweet lovin'.
But I can't play anything overly violent when the kid is awake either. Decisions decisions……
So it seems that if you don't have a sex life currently, gaming may cut into it because you may be gaming instead of trawling for mall ass or whatever your past time is. But if you have a significant other then you make time for both. That sound about right?
Hmm, that depends on what kind of sex one is having. Love-making or tying somebody up and attempting to split them in half.
I was never a fan of "The Nutcracker".
This all comes down to the choices an individual makes.
For example, when it comes to having a healthy long term relationship, sex is all but one piece of the puzzle.
If you allow video games to interfere with your partner's needs, there will be consequences in the bedroom!!
I can honestly say i have only chosen games over love making maybe twice in my life time and it was only because i was stuck on a hard part and was determined to complete it.
For the most part though it has not damaged my "relations" with my wife. I can see how it can, but i have enough self control so far to know when gaming time ends and the loving time begins.
Last edited by Jawknee on 5/26/2010 12:08:25 AM
My top 5 in order of importance….
1. Sex
2. Gaming
3. Sex
4. Gaming
5. Sex
Then I'll have a cigarette, & try to sneak in another gaming quickie!
Last edited by BikerSaint on 5/26/2010 12:16:19 AM
High five!
I've never really enjoyed gaming quickies. It always gives me that unfulfilled feeling.
well i start off by sayin im 20 with a good job a newborn son and live wit my girl and gaming does affect my life tremendously!!!!!! not necessarily my sex life since i would never turn down my chance to have fun but my over all relationship is being destroyed because of it….. I'm like many others that relax by playing games since its my #1 hobby. i like to get home after a night of work and play games to relieve the days stress and because of it i hear my girls annoyin ass botherin my and getting on my last nerves. now im stuck askin myself if im wrong to go home and play games and relax or if my girl is a crzy woman who doesnt understand me and is looking to kill me….ALL BECAUSE OF GAMES
Something common is that babes that are not into games see v-games as a "kid's hobby."
This is what can kill a marriage/relationship. She basically doesn't respect your choice to play v-games after working your ass off all day.
Yet, if you were to call her stupid for watching 2 hours of dumb TV shows she'd get mad.
There's a lack of respect and understanding going on there.
cuz i know theres times i need to spend family time and i do but when she complains about me playin anywhere between 2-4 hours every day i lose my temper and would much rather go for a walk alone and besides im mad i cant have sex yet since she still hasnt recovered from the pregnancy
Wow. Someone has issues.
lol do what I did. It worked wonders…. WONDERS.
Instead of getting mad at someone for not understanding, conduct an exercise that assists in developing a mutual understanding of free time. Actually, as a rule, never react to your partners presumable lack of understanding with anger. It won't accomplish anything. Nothing worse than developing an environment where everyone is on edge when you get home because she feels she can't talk to you when you play games because you'll just get angry. Similarly, avoid situations where you'll feel angry or short-tempered at something as minor as her talking to you while you play a game… all because you each assume the other will react a certain way and are entitled to their own version of rights.
Anyways, in terms of that exercise, do what I did. Jess (my wife) thought games were childish and I think she might have even expected me to sort of stop playing when we got married. I think she thought it was just a college activity for me. lol. Nope. I've been playing games since I was 4. Not stopping now.
Anyways, I would often argue with her about it. She would claim it's childish, and I would say it's far more productive than some of her shows she watched. So we compromised. I had to spend 2 hours watching shows she likes, and she had to play 2 hours of games with me.
The shows were "John and Kate plus 8" and "Say Yes to the Dress". You all think the first is lame… the latter was painful. At any rate, I didn't insult her shows (don't do that.), but I asked passive questions the whole time. Like… "So, basically the show is about selling and finding the perfect wedding dress?" "Why would they spend 5k on a dress?" (My wife spent under $150 at a store in Arizona. It was beautiful.) And my favorite question which generated the best discussion… "Why do you watch John and Kate if it makes you so mad?"
In the end, she asked me what I thought. I avoided saying things like "It's stupid." and put together much more convincing arguments about what the shows teach, and commented on how I'm no further ahead in my own cognitive development than I was initially.
Guess which game I picked for 2 hours?
Common guys. It's easy!
Figured it out yet?
Heavy Rain. (Obvious, no?)
Anyways, she LOVED it. In fact, we ended up playing through the whole game from start to finish within a week. Now, she respects the fact I occasionally need alone time, and because I appreciate that, I make more of a point to spend time with her BEFORE playing games.
I definitely don't recommend going straight to the games. Every day you should greet your partner with a hug n' kiss. It doesn't hurt to say you missed them or thought about them at some point. Also, ask them how their day was and then get this…. listen.
Believe it or not, putting in that time to focus on the things that actually matter most will result in more leisure and game time. Plus, you'll enjoy it without having to get your back up.
Edit: Also, my sex life is better with marriage than before. I don't think my methods are off kilter.
Last edited by Underdog15 on 5/26/2010 2:43:43 PM
@Underdog: Heavy Rain vs Say yes to the dress???
C'mon man that's pretty unfair, seemed more like pro-gaming brainwash as I read through your comment…HIGHFIVE
Underdog's a genius!
@totozero
ya no kidding, eh? Hardly a fair fight. I was pretty confident. I knew all about the shows she watched, but she had never invested time into seeing what my games were like. No doubt she would /sarcasm/ LOVE /sarcasm/ what I wrote there. lol
What are we trying to do here? Keep the stereotype alive that gamers are nothing but a bunch of basement virgins?
Hey PSXexteme! I'll have you know, I happen to live on the SECOND floor of my parent's house!
HA.
hahaha
But does your mom bring you pie?
Hezzron,
Sounded like me too at one time.
I'll bet you also keep your bed spring's well oiled & your girl muffled like I did, so your parents won't hear you two break-dancing under the sheets.
I had to to take off the headboard too, cause we were becoming indirect percussionists.
Although I must say, the headboard had a nice heavy metal beat going as it was also banging away to all of our rhythms.
I knew it was time to move out when my parents commented about some strange long climatic drum roll they kept hearing all night.
Last edited by BikerSaint on 5/26/2010 12:17:17 PM
U could always game and have sex @ the same time? multi-tasking its great to know how to do it LOL!!
Is that why the Play Station Move is shaped like that?
Wait…doesn't that depend on how good the sex is?
If there are ever any Hentai games with PlayStation Move support, I wonder if the problem will get better or worse? Hmmmm
tbh there are lot of people who play games like me who go out with mates and stuff every weekend and enjoy games sumtimes but i feel sorry for those who are way too much into gaming that they dont do anything else i actually know someone whos like that its like ps3 has taken over his life
I don't know if video games effect your sex life, but marriage certainly does.
HA, after nearly a decade… I think I have to agree. Although when I think about it, and it's a bit ironic, having kids affects your sex life far more than that little ring on your finger. Nothing kills the mood quite like *knock knock* 'daddy, i ha a bad jeem'
@gumbi
LOL! Spot on!
Four words that can halt you in your tracks;
"Is the door locked?"
My kids have never interupted us. I guess I should be thankful.
We've trained ours to knock and wait…just in case.
Knock and wait? How many times have you had to clean the floor in front of your door?
Marriage made it better for me. We're still Dink's (Double Income No Kids), so can't speak on that one.
You nailed it Ben.
And Highlander, you're the man. You can trust that many of us feel the same way, and share similar opinions, but few can put it to words like you do. Props.
The decline of real communication skills has been a hot topic to me for some time now. I offer a toast and a firm handshake to both of you.
Of course, let's not forget those of us whose wives have fallen into the dreaded "no sex rut" and thus play video games to fill the sexy void.
Oh, Heavy Rain, how your interactive lovin' fills my lonely nights….
Put on a Ronald McDonald costume and head to the bedroom. I bet that'll get her engine reving again.
No, try a Santa Claus costume.
Well, clowns terrify her, and she hasn't responded to my Yuffie costume, so maybe Santa will have more luck.
Of course. Anything can negatively affect an aspect of your life. Hell, having too much sex can negatively affect your sex life.
Like all things in life, gaming should be taken in moderation.
I consider gaming a hobby, I play every now and then. If a game is affecting your sex life, then man oh man, drop the controller, go for a jog, and come back ready to go with your woman.
To much of anything isn't good for you.
I love 'conversation starter' articles like this one. It always leads to interesting comments.
Can gaming affect your sex life? Sure. The simple fact of the matter is that when two things compete for the same resource, they can't help but affect one another. The resource here being time. If you spend all day doing one activity, you will have less time for the other.
However, I don't believe that gaming is the cause of our society's increased isolationism. Do you remember that window of time when gaming existed, but the internet didn't? I didn't spend my time watching youtube videos or updating the statuses on my various social network profiles. I spent it at the neighbors house seeing if we could get the blood code to work in Mortal Kombat. Gaming helped me be social.
People spend so much time on the internet these days. That is what I believe is negatively affecting our society more than anything else.
The internet is a great thing. We have more information at our fingertips, and it is easier to keep in touch with friends from around the world, but the internet is also relatively new. (I mean in the grand scheme of things. When you look at inventions that have changed our society forever, cars, electricity, etc., the internet is a pretty recent thing.)
I imagine that when television was invtented, all people did all day was watch tv. It was new. It was fun. It was exciting. It used up all your time and left less time for friendships. Then when people got used to it, they were better able to moderate how much tv they watched.
I think it's the same with the internet. People are so excited about it that they want to spend all their time on it, and that can negatively affect relationships.
There's no replacement for human interaction, and soon we'll go back to that place (if most of us are not there already) where telling people face to face about what is happening in your life is preferred to updating your status online.
Agree? Disagree? I'd love to hear your thoughts.