I've done articles on girl gamers before and in fact, one of them generated such an outpouring of feedback from female gamers everywhere that my inbox exploded over the weekend. But I've been wondering: we all tend to assume that a guy gamer's fantasy is to find a really cute girl who is also into his favorite hobby. And as the industry grows and the years wear on, this is becoming less and less of a novelty.
So the question is, does your significant other or girlfriend play video games? And if so, are you responsible for getting her into this form of entertainment or did she already have a big ol' game collection when you met her? And if you are currently without a lady, do you want to find someone who shares your enjoyment of the interactive video medium? …how many different names can I come up with for "video games?" Anyway, the goal is to see if the old-school "fantasy" remains the same for both long-time gamers and gamers from a new generation. Personally, I'd have difficulty finding anything wrong with a girl who plays games but at the same time, perhaps there's something a little boring about being with someone who's too much like you. I mean, I suppose there's no shortage of conversation due to your shared interests but sometimes, there are particular differences between couples that prove to be the most appealing and, well, "spark-inducing." So, what's your take on this? Anybody ever date a chick who loved games but still turned out to be intolerable?
I suppose my problem is that my generation never really had girl gamers. That would be like guys playing with Barbie dolls; it just wasn't done that often. Therefore, women around 30 years of age still don't understand gaming and see it as a kid's hobby…but then again, I've outlined all this before. I'm not about to start again. 😉
Let's see, don't have a girl right now, not gonna look for one until I got my first paycheck, yeah, it's handy to have cash when looking for a girl, that way you can take her out instead of letting her watching you play games all the time.
No, but fo' real, I know a couple of girls who play games, not many though. And I'd like my next girlfriend, if she'd be a gamer, to at least not like the 360, pointless arguments would arise too often.
yeah, i'm in the same boat as you. i have to get a job first before anything else. I cant be the one being taken care of in a relationship, that doesnt fly with me. I prefer someone that doesnt game as much as i do though. I know what happens to gamers when a bunch of games come out at almost the same time. Hell, i just lived it the past 3 months.
I'm single, but actually met one of my ex's playing R:FoM online (yes we did meet). my last girlfriend wasn't an avid gamer, she had a PS2 and a wii, but I don't count the wii to be honest. She liked ratchet and clank, so gave Resistance a go but failed, funnily enough because of the analogue sticks :S, she liked LittleBigPlanet, but found Heavy Rain boring. Most of the time she would just fall asleep while I was playing.
I would love to have a gamer girl, but I'm not that bothered about it. I'd rather find someone I can hang out with and be myself around first and if she likes games great 🙂
Will you guys believe me if i say that me and my girl broke up yesterday??
Well anyways the only game she play is Madagascar Kartz …..But now she play's nothing because i got the ps3 baby hahahahaha so $#@%#@%$ her
You poor sod… just continue gaming, you'll be fine…
Q!
"drown your sorrows with a game"
My wife unfortunately isn't into gaming. She plays for a couple minutes, gets killed, laughs, and hands the controller back to me. She tried playing a racing game using my steering wheel – I had to tell her that racing cars can go around corners at MORE than 30 mph. Sigh…
Guess nobody's perfect.
did she turn the controller and lean into the turns? my mom used to do that on the NES. she also tilted the controller when mario ran in mario 3. it was weird…
man, that was a long time ago…lol
she plays a lot of gameboy advance, but shes not a console gamer. shes really old school, cuz her dad is. turn based rpg's, 2d platformers and grid-based strategy for her.
My wife is a huge wowhead. I introduced her to the game and before I knew it she had 3 level 80s, was part of the best horde raiding guild on our server, and could kick my butt all over Azeroth. I quit playing recently to focus on course work and all my ps3 titles that have been collecting dust, but she is still going strong.
I am not connected yet, but hey, if I were, a pre-requisite would be that she should at least tolerate gaming to some degree 🙂
Q!
"play.experience.enjoy"
Last edited by Qubex on 5/3/2010 7:31:24 AM
isnt that one of the main criteria every guy here is looking for. You can call videogames not your cup of tea, but dont call it stupid.
My girlfriend is 30 years old, and games pretty much daily. It's how we unwind in the evenings. She gamed before she met me a good bit, but didn't have much of a collection to come along with her.
I know a lot of girls around 30 that game. Whether it's WoW or Mario, they'll play something. I think that the main issue is that most SINGLE girls don't game much. They'd much rather buy a couple of new outfits than a game system. Girls who are dating someone would tend let their boyfriend spend his money on the system, then play it. That's how it always seems to work for me, anyway.
My girlfriend isnt a gamer. She has played a few games. halo 3, MW2, LBP, Dead Space.
Then one day i took her into a gamestop.(sorry!) She looked through the games, turned to me and asked where are the girls games?She said she liked LBP but wanted something else to play and she wanted a game that didnt involve killing something like Crash bandicoot or Spyro.(She had a PS1).
The only thing i could think of was ratchet and clank but she saw a gun on the box and said no.
you guys got any ideas?
It is kind of hard to find a game where you don't kill now days, lol. There's supposed to be a new Ape Escape coming out sometimes, so maybe when it starts showing up somwehre, hype her up on that. Ape Escape was fun, imagine a PS3 version. There are some nice fun, non-violent games on the PSN. Critter Crunch…I guess kind of violent since he eats things, lol. This isn't a game, but try Eyepet, she'd probably think it's cute. She could try ModNation Racers, too. Kind of like Little Big Planet, just set as a racing game. Rub-a-dub would get her using the six-axis. There's more around in the PSN store, though.
Wow if you can't kill anything (even in a child like setting such as in Spyro) you REALLY limit your options.
My wife has a DS and puzzle games, that's about all the non-killing I can think of.
Maybe the Lego games, Lego Batman, etc, but even that has mild "killing" if that's what you call blowing up some lego guys.
I'd start scrolling through the PS3 demos, and see if anything catches your eye.
Get the demo of Ratchet and Clank so that she can see it isn't much different than shooting fire at people with Spyro. My girl liked the original. Honestly other than that, it would seem to mostly be PSN games that she would like. Of course, Heavy Rain is very unisex.
Sounds like she already has her mind made up of what type of game she likes. As of now, a majority of those games are only available on the Wii. You could try breaking her in with Pain (no pun intended).
Does she like puzzles or anything that makes her think things through? Lumines is one of my favorites. There are many great puzzle games on PSN that you can have her try. Start downloading some of those demos.
Does she mind fantasy violence, the kind with swords or magic? If so there are a whole slew of titles she might enjoy.
There is always sports titles as well. Maybe have her team up with you in a short basketball or hockey match. Most importantly, just be patient with her.
Thanks guys. Sorry if my wording was brutal above. i meant she enjoyed spyro and crash.
I guess I should change my vote on the how often do you browse the PSN now. 🙂
Thanks again.
shaydey77,
If you can play PS2 games, you need to check "Okami" for her.
It's a very good game, & I believe she'll love the artfulness of it too.
A small bit about the game:
The game is a art masterpiece. It's very easy to play & you use the controls to "paint" your desired powers.
You possess the power of a God, but face the world in the form of a Wolf. You must overcome the odds against you. You have the power to create & destroy.
Faced with your greatest challenge, to restore order & beauty to a world laid barren by evil.
Here's a lot more info on "Okami" w/some pics(although the Wikipedia pics don't do justice to the true art & color palette in the game, itself).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C5%8Ckami
modnation racers is about to come out this month.
Modnation Racers FTW! D1P
Oh, she LIKED Spyro.
Sorry misunderstood your post, now I see what you meant.
Ya try the Lego games, my wife and I play Lego Batman.
Also we play Ultimate Alliance and Ultimate Alliance 2. If she likes some comic characters, those might work for her.
So the list:
Lego Batman
Lego Starwars
Lego Indiana Jones
Mod Nation Racers
Little Big Planet
Ultimate Alliance 1&2 (maybe)
that's about all I got.
Mt GF beat all the God of War games, all the Zelda games (starting from Ocarina of Time, she didn't even know the ones before it existed before I met her), she likes Halo but still hates the XBox 360 (she cheered when they were said they were done with Halo), she owns Uncharted 2 and Resident Evil 5 and has been playing a lot of Little Big Planet. I actually met her by talking to her about how to beat Yunalesca on FFX. She hates FFXIII and despises the fact I even want to buy the game, lol. I wanna get it basically because it's supposed to intertwine with the whole FFXIII mythos stories. But to make a long story a bit longer, she is a gamer and she loves it. She's pretty badass. She's alright when playing online, but when someone tells her she sucks because she's a girl, she takes no prisoners. The person claiming that statement usually either says she's cheating/sucks still or they resort to glitching up the game in order to win. Somehow on Uncharted 2, they get off map or something to where they can shoot you even when you're undercover.
hey that's happened to me too! annoying little pricks, they snipe you from nowhere using a shotgun?! it totally ruined my streak and appetite for UC2 that time.
tell her not to sweat it, thats just what people who suck or prepubecent do. tell her shes lucky shes not on live. once people find a female there they either berate, hit on, and even sing to them (yes, they sing to them the who damn game).
Last edited by johnld on 5/3/2010 3:37:56 PM
my wife has a DS she plays all the time. She doesn't play Playstation much, but she does love a few series that she's watched me play. she's seen pretty much all of the GOW series. and she watched a good chunk of a few RPG's. and she really enjoyed watching shadow of the colossus (even helped me defeat a few i couldn't figure out) both of us are really looking forward to The Guardian.
my wife like to play hustle kings and pretty much all kind of puzzle games. So i gave her, her own tv and ps3 – so i have mine alone.
Hustle Kings is a great pool game for anyone who enjoys playing for real.
She just started playing that last night and we had a blast. Only wish there were some form of team gameplay.
well, it's complicated, I do not have a girlfriend in the real world, I have no time, but in the virtual world I had some, I had a complicated relationship with Morrigan and Leliana in Dragon Age, and some prostitutes in Fallout 3.
Well, at least you enjoyed yourself and the challenges thrust upon you. As they say, "rise to the challenge…"
Q!
"rise to the challenge"
Last edited by Qubex on 5/3/2010 10:17:38 AM
hahaha, google SOM japan. saw this on kotaku a long time ago and laughed my ass off.
nope, my gf is not a gamer…..yet.
If a PSP and LBP don't do it then I don't know what will(which she actually wants to try, it's not like i desperately need to convince her).
My girl was a light gamer when she was growing up as a kid. When we got together, about a year or two later I had her playing Metal Gear Solid and NBA Jam on PS1 then Unreal Tournament, NBA Showtime, Red Faction 1 & 2, and Killzone on the PS2.
Anything that was split screen or some form of co-op she wanted to play with me. I always complimented her progression and only gave her tips as she needed them. I never tried to overload her with too much information, that just discourages her. When playing a shooter, the only thing she needs to know is how to move, aim, and fire. Once she got that stuff down, I introduced her to the other buttons – changing weapons, jumping, ducking, grenades, etc.
How to get your girlfriend into video games;
First of all, you need to make sure the conditions are right. Don't have any left over chores sitting around that needs to be done. Finish that last batch of laundry, the plates piling up in the sink, vacuum the carpet, dispose the waste that's overflowing in the trash can. Complete whatever task it is you have lying around waiting to be done. Once there is "nothing" to do, the time is right.
Remember, not every girl wants to only play dating sims or my little pony games. They want blood and gore just as much as the next person. The trick is knowing what type of female companion you have. A good indicator is the type of movies or TV shows they are into. Do they like to think (not too many don't)? Maybe an RPG or RTS would be their liking. Do they enjoy action films? Possibly an FPS player in hiding. Do they like drama? Heavy Rain will keep her busy for hours. Once you think you have an idea of a genre or two it's time to figure out which game.
Think back to all the different games you used to enjoy. See, you need to think like them. They are fresh to the gaming realm and should start where you started (well for most of you gamers out there). I think anyone can get their girlfriend or wife to play video games. It's just a matter of not overwhelming them with too much information at once and using positive reinforcement. Rather than playing against your woman in a 1v1 match in Madden or race her in a game of Need for Speed, try something that allows team play.
Think of it as inviting her into the hot tub. A woman will like to expose herself slowly to the hot water. Do the same with the game she's about to play. Don't try and explain what every single button does. Just the mandatory ones she needs to know. Pay attention to her progression and be sure to compliment her performance. Notice when she does something amazing (at least amazing to her) and cheer her on like you would any of your buddies. Above most, laugh with her, not at her. Point out the mistakes you are making. She'll feel better about messing up knowing that the "gamer" showing her the ropes still misses the mark to from time to time.
Great co-op games for this are team sports like basketball, hockey, or action games like Marvel Alliance, Dynasty Warriors, Resident Evil 5, Army of Two, and upcoming Lost Planet 2. Be sure to start on the easiest setting available. If you think you have a good game in mind but it doesn't offer co-op play, try taking turns.
The next part is probably one of the harder parts to do. Set a time limit. Try to keep this time limit to yourself. Say maybe about 30 minutes to 1 hour maximum. It's better to stop the activity before she becomes bored from it. Get her to say she wants to keep playing. The sooner she admits she's having fun and wants to play more, the easier it will be for her to come suggest playing a game with you.
Continue this for a while and you will find that she also enjoys games too. I will warn those out there to be care of what you wish for. Now that my girl games, when ever I look into buying games I have to consider a second copy for her own gaming system setup. If you thought they (women) were expensive before, get her involved in your activities.
Best of luck and I'd like to know if anyone else has had success with this method.
Last edited by Nynja on 5/3/2010 10:37:47 AM
Incredibly long post Nynja… but very interesting to read nonetheless… there are some useful trade secrets in there…
Q!
"play.experience.enjoy"
Last edited by Qubex on 5/3/2010 10:57:04 AM
I'd like to append to my above post;
If you've tried the above and you are still having problems getting her to even pick up a controller, you could always attempt bargaining with her. Let her know that you will gladly enjoy spending time with her during an activity she would like to share, in return for a 30 minute game session. Make sure she is aware that you want her on your team. That you want her to play with you against the computer. Make her feel needed and wanted. They love that.
She'll be more likely to give it a go if she knows it's to help her man out.
Also, if you are a woman trying to get a man to play a game with you – this method could help you too.
Last edited by Nynja on 5/3/2010 11:25:28 AM
The wife loves to play Mario. She has finished two Paper Mario titles and Mario Sunshine. I just bought her New Super Mario Bros Wii. Her and her friend have been hammering away at it.
She also likes LittleBigPlanet. I just recently showed her the ModNation Racers PSP demo. That sparked her interest in the PS3 version. She finished Kingdom Hearts and Kingdom Hearts 2 before i did and shes anxiously awaiting the 3rd title.
I didn't introduce her to video games. Shes has 3 younger brothers so shes been around them but she said she didn't really start playing them until she met me. So i guess i deserve some credit. 🙂 She lived in Japan during the Final Fantasy X launch. She said it was crazy over there.
bought New super mario bros wii before christmas. took me less than half a week to beat it 100%, shining stars and all. I just cant help but feel disappointed that it wasnt as much of a game for 50 bucks. damn nostalgia got me.
My wife is not a gamer. In our 18 years of marriage, she has sat down and watched me play occasionally.
Heavy Rain, however, was the first game she decided to watch until the game was completed.
Still hoping that Heavy Rain supports PS Move. I believe she would actually play it.
I always find it curious when a wife sits down and watches you play. Mine watched me play Uncharted 2. But let me ask you, since she liked watching you, would YOU wait for her to be around before playing? Or did you play a couple hours without her?
I ask because even though my wife watches from time to time, I sure as heck can't control myself and not play until she's available to watch.
Last edited by Alienange on 5/3/2010 1:45:10 PM
My wife and I just started Heavy Rain, and we have decided that I would only play it with her present. I do not watch TV, I get bored quick, so Heavy Rain is our TV nights together.
It is hard to not go on with it as we don't have all that much time together between work and the baby, but I owe it to her to wait. As previously said, it all about helping the marriage last ! 😉
Mind, a friend just bought me Super Street Fighter IV, so I got something else to do while waiting. So yes, friends can help the marriage too !
Last edited by Sonattine on 5/3/2010 2:52:59 PM
Alienange…
I was not allowed to play Heavy Rain unless she was there. I am always playing multiple games at once, so it was all good. Plus, I figured it best not to be pushy since she far from being a gamer.
Sonattine…
Nice man. I always have believed that doing things "together" as a couple goes along way in maintaining a relationship.
You two are amazing. Letting sweet gaming bring you together as a couple. Bravo I say.
Women my age (28) definitely don't play video games and they see it as a kids hobby. However a while ago my childhood friend (5 years younger than me) actually introduced me to a bunch of his female friends that played video games.
Apparently people born somewhere around 1985 or later are more likely to have grown up with video games, and more likely to play them as a hobby.
So it should come as little surprise that I wound up marrying a girl 5 years younger than me who brought a Dreamcast and Genesis to the relationship.
This is true. The younger the generation, the higher the percentage of female gamers. My younger brother has yet to have a girlfriend who does not game. I'm talking heavily too.
hahaha, 1985 here. when i was young, i can get girls to hang out just by saying i have super mario or super mario bros 3. where the hell are they now?
Single at the moment and not bothered about finding a girl. It'll happen when it happens. If she's a gamer then all the better but the next one has to accept that I play games. I wont stop for no one haha 🙂 Plus I like playing with my mates/clan online.
My ex used to play GTA she said she found the driving relaxing. Also tiger Woods she used to beat me on that as I had never played it till I got with her. She used to play on the PC a bit too only Monopoly but she was on it all the time.
Well, I am single and would love to find a girl who shares the same love of Video Games with me. Not even my friends care too much about the industry, they only play a few games now and again. They are really more into DnD.
It's gotten to a point where I really don't mention video games around people. All the people, girls and guys, that I know usually talk about music and random stuff. When they do talk about video games, I jump right in and amaze them with my knowledge. Which makes me feel really left out.
I do know this one girl who is dating someone I know. She is really into Final Fantasy XIII right now and is playing it non-stop.
DnD, those nerds, hahahaha.
Well my wife is a super ALL AROUND gamer! We started off by her talking trash saying she'd beat me on Tekken 2 when I came to her parents house since I had never played it. Of course I smacked her up in that. From that day on we played fighting games for pretty much the whole PS2 generation. Tekken 5, Soul Calibur 2 & 3, Marvel Nemesis (One of our Favs!), and Virtua Fighter 4 and anything else that is/was a fighting game.
When the 360 and Ps3 came out, We played through Gears 1 & 2, Army of Two 1, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, Rainbow Six Vegas 2, Fought in Soul Calibur 4, Got drunk and played Rock Band/Guitar Hero, Street Fighter 4, Virtua Fighter 5, Grand Theft Auto 4 co-op and online, and for some unknown reason she doesnt play any FPS except Resistance 2 and Borderlands.
Now when she games by herself: Heavenly Sword, Bayonetta (360), BloodRayne, N3 Ninety Nine Nights, Rumble Roses XX, Golden Axe Beast Rider, WET, City of Heroes (PC), Sims 3, anything on her PSP, and even those flash games on the PC!
She LOVES to watch me play certain games too, like The God of War series, Metal Gear Series, Heavy Rain (I couldnt play it if she WASNT around or she'd kick my ass), and Uncharted 2!
*Funny Story* We've been married for 2 years this month. We have yet to take a honeymoon. We were planning to take ours very soon and have her parents go in half on it with us. She got me a brand new TV stand for my HDTV. Long story short, while I was transferring the TV to the new stand she knocked it over and cracked my screen. I was crushed. She felt so bad, she postponed the honeymoon, and had her parents just put their half towards replacing my TV. She said she knew that was my "escape" (playing games) and she felt REALLY bad. Couldn't have asked for a better wife!
My wife considers herself a gamer now, and she is one. She had played some back in the SNES days, and loved SimCity on the PC. But It wasn't until my PS2 entered the house with Madden NFL 2001 – and at the same time Peyton Manning decided to be the best QB in the NFL for the Colts. My wife learned to love football (the gridiron kind) and Madded all at the same time. Then I played through the first Xenosaga and she loved it so much she played it herself, after that she was doomed. When I got a PS3 and Burnout Paradise was about to come out, I downloaded the Demo version. That was in December and the game came out about a month or so later in January. She played the demo almost as much as I did. Remember now, this is a demo, but we must have played with that thing for dozens of hours a piece, and the online simply made it better. When the game actually came out, we suffered along with one PS3 and copy of the game for about a week before we had to get a second PS3 (40GB) and second copy of the game. His and Hers PS3s running Burnout Paradise. The worst thing is she got to the Elite license (100%) before I did!
She still enjoys racing games and is looking forward to GT5. She loved LBP, I think she'll love Mod Nation Racers – may be another two copy game…She liked watching a play through of White Knight Chronicles, but I think the whole georama thing appealed more than the questing. She still plays Madden, less though since the PS3 version is missing so many features compared to the PS2 versions. She was addicted to Civilization Revolutions, and there have been other games along the way.
It's pretty cool having a wife that tolerates football and video games, it's freaking phenomenal to have a wife that loves football and video games as much as mine does. Only problem is, she loves the Colts and I'm a Redksins man.