Bah. After about 15 minutes of staring around the room, desperately trying to come up with a fresh idea for an editorial, I've decided to alter the formula a bit and rant – kinda randomly – on a few different subjects. Forgive me, but with weekly editorials and Week in Reviews for nearly three years, I can't come up with new topics all the time. ­čśë

What you buy at Stop & Shop…that ain't cookies

Both of my parents are fantastic cooks and of course, they're seriously miffed that I can barely toast bread. But this means I'm typically privy to decent food and the one thing that drives me nuts is when people buy those giant plastic containers of "cookies" at the grocery store. I place "cookies" in quotation marks because I'm not sure what they even are . They taste like cardboard. Cardboard with old shortening. Those of you who have tasted good cookies, with good homemade and organic ingredients know just how awesome a cookie can be .

And while I'm on the subject of food, the next time someone tries to tell me there's no difference between gourmet food at a decent restaurant and a chain like freakin' Applebees or some sh** (except price), they're gonna get swatted . It's not my fault you can't even taste the massively over-processed crap they're calling food these days, but if you honestly believe people are dumb enough to pay more money for the "same" food, you're too stupid to chew that horrid food.

Don't mean to be a food snob. I eat some junk here and there, too. But don't tell me there isn't a difference .

Relationships. … …… 'no comment'

I just don't know what to say. I have three friends who are either married or engaged and I'm relatively certain these friends should be happy. And maybe they are. But I've known these people for many, many years and these days, they just seem…well, not themselves. I don't want to say they're unhappy; that would be inaccurate, they just seem more…distant, I guess. They seem to have a mist over their eyes of some kind; they smile and laugh less; they're constantly tired and not anywhere near as willing to try something new. In short, it's like they went to bed 30 and woke up 50. And I find this very, very unsettling because while I have no interest in having kids myself, I am not against the family; in fact, I think it's crucial in a civilized society. And as far as marriage goes, I don't have anything against that, either (despite the fact that it's not exactly a logical theory).

The point I'm trying to make is this: as sad as it may seem, I don't see a lot of incentive right now to do the marriage (or kid) thing. My friends are getting more and more out of shape, they have less money than they've ever had (and some make more than me), they're a lot less cheerful than they used to be, and me…well, I come and go as I please…I drive an 07 M35x…I've got a little money stashed away…I do what I want, when I want. Now, there are many who will say this can't compare to love and family and what have you, and I do believe you…but my eyes are telling me otherwise. It's a little depressing.

I just may want a PhD in classic literature

You know, if this whole gaming journalism doesn't last me a lifetime, I might want to go back to school and get an advanced degree of some kind in classic literature. I have a Bachelors in Psychology (fat lot of good that did me, but whatever) and I've cultivated a very intense love of the classics over the past four or five years. My favorites include George Eliot's "Middlemarch," Thomas Mann's "The Magic Mountain," Gabriel Garcia Marquez's "One Hundred Years of Solitude," Emily Bronte's "Wuthering Heights," Wilkie Collins' "The Woman in White," and I just know the book I'm currently reading, Leo Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina," will become another one of my favorites. I have always been in awe of literary mastery; this level of brilliance just amazes me. "The Magic Mountain" may be the single most impressive piece of literature I've ever read and I've concluded that Mann must've been a legitimate genius. I just love reading such things, even when I know most won't touch such dense content with a 10-foot pole.

Anyway, I could go off on a long rant about how I honestly believe that the less we read, the further we fall as a society (laugh all you want), but I won't. Let's just say that I often believe I was born about 150 years too late. I think I would've done very well in the Victorian era. ­čśë

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